Its 6am. Um if my mom for some reasons asks, you stopped by my house around ten and had some wine with me. She is concerned I drank a whole bottle by myself. Woke me at 6am to interrogate..Thank god my pounding head thinks fast.
PS We had chips too. She is less concerned about the whereabouts of the chips but still a good lie always needs detail.
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
AHHHHHHHHH. I LEFT A GLASS NEXT TO ME WHEN I FELL ASLEEP I'M SO SURE IT WAS WATER BUT NOW IT'S VODKA JESUS MADE A STOP
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
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