Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
Rubbed one out while on hold to buy tickets to Disneyland. Feel simultaneously like a freak and strangely productive.
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
I don't know man, I woke up and shes here acting like she knows me, wearing my clothes, and scrambling eggs in my kitchen. I don't know her.
You were drinking with me last night, I warned you.
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
Randomize
