i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
Randomize
