hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
Santa Claus winked at me two tables over at the Chinese place tonight I was almost afraid he knew "getting laid" was my Christmas wish
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella.
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
Randomize
