Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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