john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
Randomize
