i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
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