last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
PS: I just woke up from my shower
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
My phone autocorrects "pooping" to "popping" and I'm like DO YOU EVEN KNOW ME??!
It wasn't your birthday, you weren't supposed to be the drunk one
When people keep buying you drinks at the bar because they like you, you can't say no to them
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
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