i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
When my girlfriend drinks sangria it's like winning the vagina lottery
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
Randomize
