SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
I was so drunk last night i ate cereal with a fork.
so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
Randomize
