Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
If Rob Pattinson gets another fucking MTV award, I'm going to vomit.
I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
Randomize
