Responsibility does not care about your dick.
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
Remind me never to smoke before babysitting again. Ate an entire bottle of children's gummy vitamins.... not an easy thing to explain to parents.
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
Randomize
