The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
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