No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
Yeah well I just ate cereal out of a muffin pan with a fork. I'll flip a coin as to who has to tackle that pile of dishes we've neglected for 3 weeks.
Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
Randomize
