Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
So squirting runs in the family.
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
Next person that gets my dog drunk is paying to have my carpet cleaned. I am tired of getting up to pee and stepping in dog barf.
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
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