and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
He appeared on my 7th floor fire escape and sang to me and jimmy through the window when we fucked. He's like a drunken mix of Sinatra and Spiderman.
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
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