I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
I might get fired at work today. I had to prioritize. It's not my fault Cockasaurus came over.
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
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