What the hell am I supposed to do with 50 gallons of mayo?
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
Randomize
