No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
He’s actually a personal trainer. He said he hasn’t taught yoga in a while but the stripper prefers to introduce him as a yoga teacher
I woke up handcuffed to a bed wearing nothing but an army belt. Does this count as thanking our country?
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
Randomize
