dear life, i get it, drinking is not a contest
pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
Im partying with a unicorn. You don't even know.
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
Randomize
