you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
Things I find upon waking: a gay man, a straight girl both clad in web bathing suits, a full bathtub, an empyt bottle of jamesons at the bottom and a scuba mask
thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
Randomize
