well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
vagina is talking i cant
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
Sometimes I'm jealous of turtles because they can just go to their homes whenever they want by putting their heads in their bodies.
How high are you?
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
I just fixed my mom's tv over the phone in 2.17 minutes while high. I'm a fucking professional.
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
Randomize
