I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
Your remote is drenched in lotion and you expect me to believe you weren't masturbating?!
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
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