It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
At the end of the date, he asked if he could kiss me. I really wanted to say "dude, I didn't shave for nothing"
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
Randomize
