Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
Hey I know we haven't talked in a while, but I wanted to thank you for those m&ms you bought me for Christmas. Sorry I never got you anything then broke up with you.
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
