I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
nothing says happy birthday like half a tampon wrapped in someone else's hair on your shoulder.
im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
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