Just had to reach into my sister's bag and shut off her vibrator so my parents wouldn't hear it. I am the world's greatest brother.
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
im taking a nap outside. wake me up in an hour.
way to go to work and not wake me up. when you get home youre rubbing me with aloe and giving me a blowjob. no excuses
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
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