do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
I have a breathe right strip stuck to my forehead, several inexplicable bruises and I think someone tried to paint my nails with glue, but I still have my Santa hat. I'm gonna call this one a success.
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
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