pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
Randomize
