Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
Ya know, sometimes when he kisses me in public I want to scream "HE DRIVES A PORSCHE!" so people watching understand that I don't have low standards, I'm just very materialistic.
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
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