yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
My dad called me in the middle of the night, drunk on vodka, asking for references on the Irish alphabet.
Randomize
