she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
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