I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
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