I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
The cop was standing next to me when I texted "haha" to your phone...didn't realize that he had taken it already...
Randomize
