I only kidnapped one of them. chill
How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
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