im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
I don't know what's worse....that fact that my dog ate my vibrator or that he later puked it up on my bed
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
