brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
you went around the entire night in your french maid costume dusting off the "cob webs" on everyone's crotch saying "you havent gotten any action in a while"
I was wondering why i got so many friend requests the next day...
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
She left scratches down my back from her wedding ring. Her husband seems like a nice guy though, judging by the scratches it had to be at least a carat.
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
I'm sober. Being kissed by a chick with a llama puppet. Shoot me now.
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
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