I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
dude i've broken up a marriage, I think I can handle a simple engagement.
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
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