don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
you missed an awesome concert last night. some middle aged woman that was grinding on me kept trying to stick her hand down my pants. i ended up rewarding her tenacity by letting her hold onto it for a song, i think it made her night.
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
Randomize
