ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
Rolled in at 3:30am from the strip club, with all the screaming I did, Siri doesn't even recognize my voice this morning,
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
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