He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
The cop didn't care that I was peeing on the wall of my dorm building... All he said was, "come on, it's 9am."
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
Randomize
