The funny thing about my wife cheating on me is that the guy probably has genital warts now. Sweet.
I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
He pulled out a coupon for $2.50 off the crab cakes and expected us to share that as a meal. Is that the kind of person you really see me dating?
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
Randomize
