If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
Randomize
