just come out here and I will go home with you...
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
I need to sanitize my soul.
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
Randomize
