I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
literally the only thing you kept saying was "i wish i had a beer keg vending machine that accepted hugs as payment" and everytime you said it you rubbed the urn her grandmother's remains were in
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
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