Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
she peed on how many people?
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
Are you sighing at your phone and judging me right now?
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
That moment half way through a run when you realize you have to take a giant shit. I was racing against my bowels that last mile. Now my sweat is suctioning my ass to this toilet seat. Enjoy that NSA.
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
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