Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
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