let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese
They know nothing, John Stoned.
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
Randomize
