It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
A particularly funny moment you may have missed; you walked in to the basement to announce that whoever was cooking sausages had left them on the grill for Hella long, only to be told that you were in fact the person grilling. At which point you just said, "the sausages are done" and walked out
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
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