come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
Getting a high five from your dog when you're stoned is one the greatest rewards of being a pet owner.
i just sent my parents are gone come over I have condoms to my mom because Derek changed my numbers while I was passed out
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
Randomize
