Police were just in my backyard to recover a loaded .38. What the fuck?????
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
They told me I stole 50 buns and a bottle of mayo and would whisper in their ears to look under my shirt to see what was for breakfast... benefit of starting to drink at 9 am
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
Randomize
