my mom heard me say 'don't squirt that at me' while me & him were in my room. She then decided to call my aunt and complain to her that she has the sluttiest daughter in town. she refused to believe me when i told her i was talking about gel.
I'm with your mom on this one.
i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
my downstairs neighbor came by to say he’s having a huge loud party tomorrow, handed me a toblerone bar, and said thank you in advance for your understanding
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